The snow has arrived and it is – thankfully – almost time for a break. We work hard…. sometimes too hard. We live in a culture that rewards – to some degree – hard work. The reward is usually money; however, we are typically willing to work for that. There is, however, a lot to be said for breaks. Breaks and self-care and doing nothing and reading books or sitting by the fire eating popcorn or fudge. The holiday season is just around the corner and we are all – I am 90% sure – looking forward to that break.
So, take a break. Try not to work. Try to spend some time doing nothing. Nothing. Wow, what an idea. And if you need to be doing something, let it be something you love. It is often difficult during holiday season to do nothing….. there is often an expectation of work anyway. But, be kind to yourself. Hide away in corners with hot chocolate and music, or escape to the woods with snowshoes or skis. You deserve a quiet, peaceful, (or adventurous and exciting, if you prefer) break. Do what you want. Take care.
What is adversity anyway? I guess it is all relative. Sometimes, it is a death; sometimes the birth of something new and unexpected; sometimes it is a trying situation that feels unresolvable. We all have at some time or another had to deal with some level of adversity. And our innate instinct is to try to make it go away. Or try to hurry to fix it – which sometimes leads us into more problems.
It helps to have a friend who listens. It also helps to have a friend or friends who are wise and patient. When we are in school and are feeling inundated with work and essays and projects and other challenges, it is important to have people in your life who are behind you and supporting you. Sometimes life feels overwhelming. Self-care and good friends help keep us calm and grounded and wise. Take care.
November is here and we are lucky that the snow has not arrived. I wanted to write a piece about responsibility – I am re-reading ‘The Road Less Travelled’ – but I cannot seem to come up with anything about taking responsibility (of what?) in this post. Right now, I don’t really care about taking responsibility. Which is odd. Taking responsibility seems like such an important thing to do. However, sometimes being responsible just seems to be too much work with too little reward. I suppose that is the problem.
What to do? First of all, it is important – essential – to take care of yourself. Recently, I talked with a student who was being so responsible, he could barely think or function in his courses. He was drowning in responsible behaviour. Worried too much about other people and what he should do to keep them happy and not enough about himself. He finally realized he needed to drop some responsibilities and start taking care of himself. Good advice. We need to take care of yourselves. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we think we should do, we forget to take care (responsibility) of ourselves. So, slow down, be gentle, smell the roses, talk to the cats and be kind to you.
Being willing to persist and work towards your goal is often the only way to reach that goal. (There is another way of reaching a goal – serendipity – but that is another post.) In life, we normally have to be willing to work, and work hard – in most cases – to achieve a goal. Sometimes, achieving a goal can be easy. However, there are times when achieving a goal feels insurmountable. Some of us carry inner nagging ‘demons’ that tell us we are not smart enough or good enough to ever accomplish (or even deserve) our goal. Some of us believe on a deep level that we will never be enough. Sometimes even the idea of trying to accomplish the dream goal seems arrogant and impossible when we feel we are ‘not enough’.
What to do? How do we achieve what we want in life when we believe we are not enough? Answer: Be willing to pursue your dream. Sounds airy-fairy, but that’s all it takes. I am serious. Be willing to do it. Be brave. Because you can do it. I have seen it happen again and again. Even if it feels like you are not enough. Put one foot in front of the other and do the work that needs to be done, one small step at a time. You will, if you want it – no lie – achieve your goal.
Well, it snowed today. Why is it always a surprise? I have lived in Manitoba virtually all of my life, and the first snowfall always seems a bit unexpected. Fortunately, this time it snowed and promptly melted. But, it is, of course, cool. Which again is another part of winter I want to ignore. It’s a little like school.
We go to school because we want to learn something. And at times, it feels like this should be easy. But it rarely is. It takes work. Often, It takes a struggle to understand things we want to understand and learn. And a lot of times, people are not happy with the struggle. And the struggle, like adjusting to the cold, is important. We need to adapt. So, take care of yourself, bundle up in knowledge, and you will be fine and you will pass your course. As long as you are prepared for and willing to struggle to get what you want. Cheers!
Well, Thanksgiving is just past. I received a wonderful gift on my Thanksgiving which I was/am most grateful for. Due to some family issues and crankiness, one of my sons (let’s call him D) has decided he is not speaking to our youngest son (M). [Sometimes, arrogance and pride can get in the way of common sense and kindness.] Thanksgiving for a variety of reasons became undoable. So, in the end, my husband and I were invited to dinner at M’s house for Thanksgiving supper which he and his partner prepared. My husband & I were delighted. We received the most lovely Thanksgiving gift – a supper we did not have to make. We are still smiling.
It is often too easy to see what is wrong. At school, the instructor is not teaching properly; the course is too difficult; and there is too much work to do. At home, our partner/husband/wife/child is not helpful. The weather is cold. etc. etc. (I have complained about all those things.) But it helps to remember all that is good. I forget that sometimes. Life is really what we make it – which is both annoying and true. Keep truckin’.
Getting along can sometimes be a challenge. Sometimes we have problems getting along with our parents, or our neighbours, or our children or our co-workers. I am having a little bit of trouble getting along with our new cat, Doug. He is both adorable and a persistent pest. He is the all-time mouser, and he will go to any lengths – killing plants and breaking bowls – to catch a fly (which he WILL catch). He is the relentless problem solver. (If he was in College, he would have no problems passing his grades.) We recently erected a folding door to keep him out of our den which he quickly learned to open. It is all at once, funny and frustrating and amazing.
And in the end, we need or maybe should, try to get along. However, there are times when the relationship seems unworkable. Maybe then, it is time to consider different options. Sometimes unworkable situations happen in school. Sometimes we enrol in a program that we realize we really don’t enjoy. Maybe we are there because someone said it was a good idea. And maybe, for you, it is not a good idea. So, in that case, trying to get along, is not the best idea. What we all need to do is what is best for us. So, what do you want?
Fall is always the time when I am sure I am a bear and I am looking for my cave. I want to hibernate. Just let me find a comfy nest of branches and leaves, and I can lie down and sleep away the winter. However, being human …….. that does not work. Too bad.
So, what to do? Take care……, I think, is the best approach. Take care. There are, of course, things that need to be done. But, take care….. of you. Right now – as I have mentioned too many times, I am sure – my husband and I are renovating our home. Right now, my stalwart husband wants to work on the house every evening after work. I suggested we work for 2 nights, take a one-night break, then work again for 2 nights. Makes life a little easier. And of course, that is the same for everything. We need to work at what we want done. However, more importantly, we need to look after ourselves. Super important. And too often ignored in the overachieving world we live in. So, take care. Really.
A couple of my co-workers are stuffed up with allergies right now. And my husband & one of my sons are snuffling and coughing because of head colds. And each of these people is plodding along, doing what needs to be done. My ill co-workers are at work. My husband and probably my son, are at work. We live in a society – this North American society – that says we must keep on keeping on. (I have even written blogs with that title.) And, in truth, there are times when we must keep plodding on to get ‘IT’ done – because the darn thing really needs to get done.
However, there are times when we need to stop. Really….., just stop. Sit down and take a break and do nothing. Take care of ourselves. Listen to our body and our spirit. Our spirit, our heart, and our body, really needs ongoing attention. Sometimes, more often then not, we just keep plodding along when, really……, we need to stop and rest and replenish.
So, take a break. And be good to yourself. Forget about work and responsibilities for a day (or three days). All will be well, and you will feel better for it.
Learning a new skill – whether it’s tennis, chess, baking (especially a pie), weight lifting, understanding electrical circuits or calculus – takes willingness, patience and persistence. First of all, we need to be willing – we need to want it badly enough to work for it. If we don’t want it, we can never muster the effort to get it. If our heart is just not in it, we can rarely reach the goal. However, if it is truly our goal – our hope – then we will work for it. We will do whatever needs to be done to get what we want. And that’s all success needs. A willingness to do what needs to be done to get where we want to go.
So, just do it. One step at a time. And if you are finding it’s too much work, ask yourself, if it is truly what you want. If it’s not, spend some time listening to yourself. What do you want? Once you know….. and that can take time…. do it. And you will get it done.